I’ve been doing a lot of reflective thinking lately about life, my purpose, my ambitions and how it all links together. There was a time in my life where I thought that if I wasn’t living out my dreams then I’d rather be dead because life wouldn’t be worth living. As I grow older I realize that everything really is meant to be and that sometimes what we want for ourselves isn’t necessarily what is right for us.
I say this now because I think that if I were famous and everyone in the world knew who I was I wouldn’t be happy. Yes, it’d be exciting at first, but eventually I’d be exhausted. I’m very iffy about my privacy. I’m not the kind who likes attention. (unless I’m on stage singing) I think twice before posting a picture on Instagram of my personal life, and it’s getting worse with age. The older I get the more inclined I feel to keep that part of my life to myself. I just don’t want to feel exposed I guess. I want to share my most personal thoughts and experiences with my listeners though and I choose to do it through my music.
If you have any question about me; my views and opinion on things, my emotions, my thoughts, etc… you’ll find your answer in my songs.
I guess in some ways, this kind of lowers my chances of succeeding because a huge part of being a singer these days is exposing yourself to the world and sharing every moment with everyone through social media outlets. I’m not that active to be honest, especially these days. I’m also not interested in being the guy who posts pictures of how great his life is (not that mine is luxurious or anything, but even if it was, I wouldn’t brag about it!), or the guy who takes selfies of himself in the gym to show progress, or post half naked pictures of myself all the time. I could do that and I could sell out if I wanted to, but that’s just not me and I refuse to have people follow me to fawn over a few shirtless pictures or be interested in me in that shallow manner. There’s so much more to me that should be appreciated, that deserves to be appreciated. There’s so much more to all of us actually, but people are generally sadly more interested in the fast and easy these days.
I’m just thinking out REALLY loud here and I think I may have missed the point of this post - what was it again?! I have no clue. I’m just expressing myself I guess. Oh well, I hope everyone has a fantastic weekend. I’m busy working on a special project which I have always dreamed of! I will definitely share details on that as soon as I feel ready to. I’m excited!
For anyone who wants to do something about their appearance to boost their confidence...
Wise words from some guy online…
Never feel guilty about having upgraded yourself in some way that masks some meaningless and superficial aspect of yourself - an upgrade that simply removes you from the radar of the shallow, socially aggressive troglodytes that surround you - and preventing them from degrading and ridiculing you. Should you have to put up with your value as a person and self worth being lowered because of a simple aesthetic detail that has nothing to do with your abilities or true self? Of course not. Will you be? Yep. Just like the smart, pretty, compassionate but chunky girls that cry themselves to sleep every night as the world chips away at them and makes them live as self-hating invalids. So always remember that society wronged you first, and you’re only reacting and taking the logical course of action. If being overweight/bald/saggy/super hairy weren’t a negative stigma in society, no one would bother, would they? But society demands it and punishes those who don’t acquiesce. So it will get a convincing facsimile of what it demands - and those who would judge deserve to be deceived.
And furthermore, I have absolutely no qualms about deceiving our shallow, demanding, abusive, materialistic society. Women wear makeup and wigs and slimming under-garments - all shallow lies to boost their attractiveness. Attractiveness is a currency, and I’m not forfeiting it just because society or some idiotic, low-brow, surrenderist loser moral system says I shouldn’t be able to exceed my born “place” in life or that I should just take it up the ass from genetics or arbitrary unfortunate circumstance or whatever. I mean what? Like some people get born pretty and then walk around their whole lives and get compliments and preferential treatment and get paid better (yes, all true - there are decades of study in this field) as if they achieved something? And those of us who aren’t so lucky are just supposed to accept some shitty supporting role in life as invisible second-class citizens and live in their shadow begging for handouts just because of a random roll of the genetic dice? F**k that. As long as you’re not harming someone else, you have the right to have anything in life that you can build or take. That’s freedom. Love it. Live it. Never look back.
“Perfection is crucial in building an aircraft, a bridge, or a high-speed train. The code and mathematics residing just below the surface of the Internet is also this way. Things are either perfectly right or they will not work. So much of the world we work and live in is based upon being correct, being perfect. But after this someone got through organizing everything just perfectly, he (or probably a she) was left with a bunch of stuff that didn’t fit anywhere—things in a shoe box that had to go somewhere. So in desperation this person threw up her arms and said, “OK! Fine. All the rest of this stuff that isn’t perfectible, that doesn’t seem to fit anywhere else, will just have to be piled into this last, rather large, tattered box that we can sort of push behind the couch. Maybe later we can come back and figure where it all is supposed to fit. Let’s label the box ART.””—BreneBrown - Daring Greatly.
I recorded this live rendition of ‘Angel’ by Sarah McLachlan for my friend Michelle back in 2004. I was 18 then. I thought it would be nice to post this to let people hear what I sounded like 10 years ago and show everyone just how long I’ve been pursuing music. I will keep going at it until I stop breathing.
Thank you to everyone who’s supported me through the years, especially Dennis and Michelle who have been there since the very beginning. I love you.
I’m not saying Google has made a mistake with the Nexus 5. It had to do something, go mainstream to keep control of its system, especially given Samsung’s strategy seems pretty clear: become the number one Android retailer, get people used to Touchwiz, then migrate them to Tizen, which looks the same, and hope they go peacefully.
In other words, give Google a sloppy kiss while simultaneously nicking the family silver.
Fame. It’s not what I’m after. The more I grow up the more I realize how unappealing the idea of fame is to me. I’m a very private person. I think twice before posting a picture on Instagram or announcing something. Fame would probably kill me. The most transparent I am is through the songs I write, and that’s the closest to my truth anybody will ever get.